AAP activists were found searching Shankar and Khasyap. They want to understand how Shankar would have written the...
AAP addressing the media. In a surprising development, the tension between the sub-continent rivals heightened as an infantry...
New Delhi. Owing to the massive publicity Wagon R has received through Arvind Kejriwal and his Dharnas, Maruti has decided to cash in on this new found popularity and launch a new version of the Wagon R. Following are some of the features:1. Additional gear which takes precise U-Turns.
2. The car will always go to the ‘Left’, just like AAP’s economic policies.
3. Even though car goes to the left, driver always feels he is ‘right’.
4. Google navigation system replaced with “Aam Aadmi ki Aawaz” GPS system. When you are lost, not knowing where to go, activate this system and it will immediately conduct polls among people in vicinity via SMS and get their response on which direction you should take to reach your destination.
5. If there is too much traffic, car will stop and refuse to move till the road is clear (Dharna mode).
6. No airbags, in sync with Arvind Kejriwal’s no security policy.
7. No light signal will be red in color, thereby reducing Lal Batti culture.
8. Car will be available in all colors except black since black colored items are known to be malfunctioning.
9. Car will have rear view, front view, side view, and inner view cameras along with a LCD screen so that TV channels can start showing any interesting event LIVE anytime.
10. These cameras will also help in carrying out sting operations on traffic cops and catch them red handed taking bribe.
Delhi: Taking a leaf out of the Aam Admi Party’s book, the Delhi branch of the Congress party today has threatened to go a dharna if the Chief Minister did not stop coughing.
“We will be on dharna in our homes from tomorrow onwards, to protest against Arvind Kejriwal’s constant coughing,” Arvinder Singh Lovely, a Congress MLA from Delhi said. “He just keeps on coughing and we are all really worried of catching ‘aam admi’germs from him.”However, the party’s members refused to go on dharna in Delhi’s biting cold in the open and have instead promised to do so from the comfort of their own homes.
“Shindeji is absolutely right, someone who coughs this much, has to be a yeda,” Lovely added.
On hearing these reports, Arvind Kejriwal coughed, then smiled and then coughed again. “Yadavji ne survey karaya hai, Delhi mein kuchh adbhut ho raha hai,” he said inexplicably, before
Modi after the polls. New Delhi. In a startling development, BJP has decided to cash-in on latest opinion polls...
“I have grown tired of being on the bench. I have been the ‘Next Big Thing’ in Indian cricket for a couple of years now, but my chance to don the Indian cap has not yet materialized,” said a visibly distraught Rahane.
When pointed out by this Faking News reporter that he could be on bench even if he joins TCS, Rahane said, “At least, there will be a few girls around in that bench. And on a related note, let me clarify that I’d continue playing IPL.”
Suresh Krishnan, a senior HR manager in TCS welcomed Rahane’s decision, “He will be a valuable addition to the bench team. And we can allow him to play IPL if he doesn’t submit fake sick leaves for the rest of the year.”
Sources say that with Virender Sehwag being dropped, there was a possibility of Rahane being handed a test debut. But BCCI, using Cricket Australia’s Player Management system, concluded that owing to spending insane amounts of time on the bench, Rahane had an 87% chance of developing a backache; hence Shikhar Dhawan was picked for a test debut.
Following this decision, Michael Clarke is reported to have offered Rahane a place in Australian team for the rest of the ongoing test series.
“Considering the shambolic condition of my team, Rahane will be a valuable addition and we are willing to present him with the Order of Australia membership if he does agree to join our team,” Clarke admitted to have extended the offer to Rahane, who resisted temptations of being able to actually play a test match, and also being only the second Indian to be presented with the Order of Australia.
After much thinking, the 24-year-old batsman announced retirement from test cricket.
Ajinkya Rahane, a veteran of 0 tests, has 0 runs to his name at an average of 0. He has also held on to 0 catches and has 0 test wickets.
“It was my dream to play with him. I can’t believe he made such a hasty decision. I will miss him bringing drinks on the field. There is no replacement for experience,” Sachin Tendulkar reacted to the news.
“I have always maintained that a team should have a perfect blend of youth and experience. Same goes for the team on bench. He was our most experienced bench-warmer. His retirement has left a huge hole. We are hoping Manoj Tiwary gets well soon and fills that void,” Indian captain MS Dhoni said.
Manoj Tiwary was unavailable for comments as he was waiting for his doctor’s appointment on a bench in a clinic.
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